Personal Relationship Could Compromise Professional Judgment
Dating in the workplace is fraught with potential conflicts of interest not the least of which is when a superior who has to evaluate an employee also dates that person. Can the supervisor rate the employees’ performance objectively? Perhaps so, but the problem is that it may appear objectivity is unlikely and any rating will be tainted.
The higher-ranked employee is faced with an ethical dilemma because there is a question of fairness in the rating process. Other employees in the company may know of the relationship, witness the rise of the lower-ranked employee, and wonder whether it is due to the dating relationship.
Workplace Dating Policy
It has been said that the best way to manage a conflict of interest is not to become involved in one in the first place or at least learn the rules of the road. This is why many companies have a dating policy to clarify the issues and describe the process to be followed by those dating.
A workplace dating policy should provide guidelines for employees engaged in romantic or sexual relationships with colleagues. It should aim to ensure professionalism, prevent conflicts of interest, and maintain a harmonious work environment while respecting individual freedoms and choices.
Resources for Employees is an online service that provides advice on dating policies. It recently surveyed employees on their dating experiences. Before you date a colleague, it’s smart to become familiar with their guidance.
You should consider any problems or conflicts of interest that may arise. For example, if you’re collaborating with a colleague on an important project, a relationship between the two of you (or a possible breakup) could affect your work. Be sure you’ve thought about all parameters before deciding whether to date including possible unintended consequences.
While there are some things that the two parties can do in the workplace and not risk negative consequences, there are more unacceptable actions.
Examples of acceptable behavior are:
- Passing by your partner’s office to talk to them for a brief time
- Discussing your joint vacation plans during breaks
- Coming to and leaving from work together
Examples of unacceptable behavior are:
- Arguing in the workplace
- Kissing or touching inappropriately in front of colleagues or clients
- Exchanging an excessive number of instant messages or calls during working hours
- Boasting about or discussing your relationship in your colleagues’ presence
If your relationship ends, maintain professionalism and don’t disrupt the workplace environment. Don’t speak negatively about your former partner or sabotage their work or reveal any intimate details of the relationship. These behaviors will likely violate the code of conduct.
To avoid accusations of the abuse of authority, superiors should be clear in their behavior by avoiding bias, and possibly facing disciplinary action up to and including termination if it is determined there has been favoritism in the performance evaluation process. Also, superiors should be sure to avoid any actions or behaviors that might cause the employee to claim sexual harassment, which sometimes occurs after the relationship breaks up.
Why There Are So Many Romances in the Workplace
Workplace romance statistics show that over 60% of adults have had a workplace romance. The percentages have been increasing in part because in today’s work environment there is little time for outside fraternization, and the ease of using social media to maintain a relationship even at work which may violate policy.
Key takeaways from a study reported in Forbes online are that:
- 57% report workplace relationships have impacted their work performance.
- 43% have married someone they worked with
- 35% don’t report on their relationship to their employer.
- 40% have cheated on their current partner with a coworker.
- 50% report flirting with their co-workers.
In another survey, respondents indicated that the three most common driving forces behind workplace romances are:
- Comfortability
- The lack of time outside work to meet other romantic interests
- The desire for a shared workplace experience
The most important things to keep in mind if you are considering or are engaged in a workplace romance are:
- Workplace romances increase the fear of breaking up by 17%.
- Over 50% say that a workplace romance impacts their sense of individuality.
- Dating colleagues affects work–life balance (54%)
- 52% of people reported that their co-workers treated them differently.
- 40% have cheated on an existing partner with a colleague.
- 43% have married someone they met at work.
- 47% have changed jobs to date a colleague.
- Nearly one-third create a breakup plan when dating a colleague.
- 62% report their relationship to HR.
- Half of the people have engaged in flirtatious behavior with colleagues.
- Less than 1 in 5 say dating a colleague is unprofessional.
- Only 5% said they were comfortable with colleagues being romantically involved.
- 9% of survey takers said they believed that workplace relationships actually increase productivity.
- 14% said it makes them uncomfortable and promotes favoritism.
- Nearly 60% have heard gossip about colleagues in a workplace romance.
What to Do if You are in a Workplace Romance?
The reality of workplace romances is that they happen, and employers can safeguard their organization and teams through policies and practices. Employers may try to preclude such relationships with firm policies against it, however it’s more likely than not that the relationship will persist once it has begun. The majority of workers will find themselves in workplace romances at one time or another. It is inevitable given the nature of workplace dynamics and lack of time and interest in looking for love in all the wrong places.
Be sure to carefully consider what you are getting into before jumping into a relationship you might regret. You should always consider the costs and benefits of entering into a dating relationship before committing to it. Take a long-term view, not immediate gratification.
Blog posted by Steven Mintz, aka the Ethics Sage. On November 13, 2025. You can find out more about Steve’s activities at: www.stevenmintzethics.com.